Moody

I don't know about today. I feel kind of blah and I think that it has rolled over from yesterday. I guess at times I will get kind of personal on here and those of you that know me probably already know most things about me. I don't want any sympathy or anything, I just need to be able to write down how I am feeling and whats going on in my life. I didn't want to exercise this morning but I like the walk so I knew that would be good but my feet burned all the way there. Maybe it was the socks I was wearing and it was kind of warm this morning plus I had a back pack on as I was meeting my friend to go swimming. It just kind of sucked really.

I don't like to complain and I don't want to be a complainer but sometimes I guess we all need to vent. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that I don't like to gossip either. I would rather stay well away from it. If you tell me something it will stay with me even if you annoy me. :0)

Yesterday I got upset because I got some pictures emailed to me from my mother in law. They were from the wedding of Trevor's cousin at the weekend. The bride was my bridesmaid at my wedding and I was ok with not going. It just hit me hard yesterday when there were pictures of my niece on there as her bridesmaid. Those of you that know me, know that I lost my daughter Annabel nine years ago to stillbirth. Annabel and my niece would have been the same age and Annabel would have been a bridesmaid too. I know that its no ones fault and I know that my mother in law was being nice sharing the pictures with me but I didn't know that it would hurt my heart as much as it did. At first I was angry and then just sad. I have many of these things to go through and loosing a child is something you have to live with forever. There will always be little reminders of what I have lost but trust me when I say this, I would never ever in a million years change what has happened to me because if I did there would be no Matthew in my life. He is truly the light of my life!

So I need to shake this off and move on and up! We are having new doors put in our family room. French doors to be exact! Ooo la la! I am so excited and right now I am looking at a big open hole in the wall. It will look great and means that we can get in and out to the pool easier now. I am however trying to not look at the mess!

Tonight's dinner is low calorie Easy Chicken Enchiladas. If they turn out good I will post the recipe tomorrow for you all to try. I forgot to say that if you click on the recipes I posted below they will take you to he website that they are on.

Oh and I totally enjoyed the swimming. I did some aerobic exercises in the pool and swam 4 laps. I know only 4 laps but my arms were hurting. I will work up to it more. One thing at a time but I felt great and then I walked home from the pool. My neighbour was in the pool swimming looking all toned and perfect... which made me kind of bummed but my friend who wants to remain nameless said that her motto is "That wherever you go there is always someone bigger than you", so lets remember that and not that fact that she runs triathlons and I don't... hehe!!